Phillies' Prospect Traded to Astros; Quits Baseball Indefinitely

In a recent trade with the Houston Astros, Philadelphia Phillies’ prospect Jonathan Singleton was traded along with three other prospects for outfielder Hunter Pence. When he learned that he was involved in the trade, he was instantly outraged.

“This is bullsh*t!” He screamed. “Absolute bullsh*t! There is no way I’m ever going to play for the Astros, they’re just too bad. Way too bad. Here I am, working my butt off in the minors, and the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I’m going to play for the Phillies. Now I have nothing. You know what, I quit. I would rather not play baseball than play for the Astros.”

Astros Manager Brad Mills called him upon hearing that he was quitting, and tried to convince him that brighter times were ahead, and even offered him significantly more money, but Singleton wouldn't listen.

“I don’t care if in 10 years you’re going to be better, I want to play for a good team now.” Singleton explained to Mills over the phone. “When I watch Astros games on TV it’s like watching a high school team. Crappy pitchers, crappier batters and barely passable defence. I don’t want to be involved with that, it would be a huge embarrassment.”

The media has been all over this lately, although very few criticisms have been made. The vast majority of people have shown sympathy for Singleton, with some people even supporting his decision. An ESPN analyst tweeted: “I don’t blame him, the Astros are so bad it’s funny. I wouldn’t want to be a part of that either.” Commissioner Bud Selig even released a statement saying that: “I’m disappointed to hear that we’re losing a talented young man, but, on the other hand, his talent probably would have been wasted if he were on the Astros.”

When reporters asked Singleton what he was going to do now, he couldn’t give a definitive answer.

“I don’t even know,” he said, “anything but play for the Astros. I’m a decent golfer, so maybe I’ll pursue that, or maybe I’ll just try to find a decent job and lead a normal life, far away from Houston that is.”